Hold Me Close
by NoNeed99
Summary: After the Nogitsune is defeated, the Pack, especially Lydia and Stiles, suffer from some side effects. Cover image by lassiedog123 on deviantart.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It's been a long while since I've written a story and this is my first Teen Wolf story. So please R&amp;R and let me know if you like it or not :)

Disclaimer: Well... it's pretty self explanatory

Chapter 1

Stiles' POV

The first time Lydia spend the night at Stiles' house was when they were three. Lydia had long since forgotten about it. Stiles hadn't. Lydia's parents had left her with the Sheriff because he was "trustworthy" when they went to a vacation. Normally Lydia would stay with her grandmother but she had passed away a month ago. Not knowing what to do, Stiles had sat in the bathroom the whole night, avoiding her. Eventually he came out in hopes of talking to her but she was fast asleep on the couch.

Stiles didn't know much about girls back then. They were just the ones who had long hair and played with the dollhouse. He didn't know that he would end up falling in love with that girl. He didn't know that his best friend would become a werewolf. He didn't know anything about the future. Heck, he didn't know what he would have for breakfast. But at that moment, he knew that the girl with the strawberry blond hair was pretty and that was all that mattered.

Now, at the age of 18, Stiles would give anything to have her stay at his house. He was ready to give up his comic books, computer games or maybe even his jeep. Of course, because of the recent events they had gotten closer. They had even shared a kiss but she didn't have the butterflies he did.

Every time Stiles saw Lydia, his heart would start beating like crazy. Scott would suppress a smirk. Derek would roll his eyes. Isaac would keep looking around like a lost puppy. Allison would give him a sympathetic look. And Lydia? She wouldn't even notice. She wouldn't notice the obvious love in his eyes. It was so obvious; she must've been ignoring it on purpose.

Actually, that wasn't the truth anymore. Stiles hadn't seen any of them in weeks except classes. Since the Nogitsune was defeated, they all tried to go back to normal. It had affected all of them but Stiles was the worst. He blamed himself for everything. For all the people that had died. For all the pain, fear. He wouldn't eat. He couldn't sleep because of the nightmares. He would run from class to class, spending his breaks in the library just staring into space. All he could think of was the look of fear in Lydia's eyes as the Nogitsune, as /he/, pushed her to the wall. He fought so hard. The monster was just too strong. He couldn't face them again, couldn't face her again. Not after what he had done. They wouldn't tell him to go away. They would try to convince him that it wasn't his fault. But it was. If he weren't that weak, he could've taken control. But he didn't. What's done is done and now he has to deal with the consequences, no matter how severe they are.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lydia's POV

If you told Lydia last year that she would be friends with Dorky Stilinski and his friend Mccall, she would've laughed at you. She was the most popular girl in school. She was gorgeous. Had the hottest guy at school as her boyfriend. Everyone loved her. She was living the dream life. Except she wasn't.

After meeting the 'pack' she realised that her life wasn't as amazing as she thought it was. The guy she loved was using her for her popularity. She had no real friends. She wasn't really happy. She couldn't be herself. Her life actually sucked.

Allison was the first person she let herself open up to. Scott was the leader. Derek was the brawns. Isaac was the one who came the last but somehow became one of her favourite people. Stiles was… She wasn't exactly sure what he was. Stiles and her were the only human ones. Well, at least they thought so. It turns out Lydia is a banshee. But either way, Stiles and her became a team. They spent hours together trying to solve the mysteries. Somewhere between the dusty books and creepy monsters, he became her best friend. After Allison, of course. But he was a different kind of friend. She could show up in his house wearing a baggy sweatshirt, some old shorts and flip-flops and he would still look at her like she was a goddess.

Lydia knew about Stiles' feelings for her. Who didn't? And honestly, she had started to enjoy it lately. She got a warm feeling whenever she was around him. And that kiss… Oh God, that kiss. They hadn't talked about it. She made up a lame excuse and tried to ignore the heartbreak in his eyes.

It wasn't fair, really. Just as she was ready to open herself to him completely, he had pulled away. After destroying the Nogitsune, she needed him to calm her down. She needed his dorky words and warm hugs. But no, she didn't even get a "Hello". She hadn't seen him for weeks. After class, he would suddenly disappear before she could get up. During lunch, no one would speak. Stiles' absence was so obvious. He was like the source of their happiness. Anytime there was as silence, he would crack a joke or make a silly comment or ask a weird question that would send them into a heated debate until they couldn't speak from their laughter.

She wasn't dense. She was brilliant, actually. She knew that Stiles was blaming himself for what happened. What the Nogitsune had done. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. That no one was blaming him. That they all cared about him. That he should come back. But all she could do was watch the back of his head during classes as he stared into space.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Lydia's POV

I've had enough. Two weeks and three days. That's the last time I spoke to Stiles. The last time he looked at me in the eyes. The last time I truly smiled.

True, we had just destroyed the Nogitsune and he was weak, I was scared and we were in a hospital. But he was still Stiles. He still cracked his lame jokes and I still laughed while rolling my eyes. I should've known that something wasn't right. His eyes didn't seem so bright. And as I got up to leave, he said goodbye. Not see you tomorrow or see you soon like he always does. Stiles never says goodbye.

I passed it off as nothing. Now I understand that he really meant it as a goodbye. It was the last time we'd be close. I wasn't going to allow that. He might be irritating and dorky and have a horrible fashion sense but he is still the one person that has me laughing until tears fill my eyes.

I never noticed how much I needed him in my life until now. So, with the thought of bringing him back, I ran to the library. Not caring about the looks I was getting, I walked to his table and slammed my palm on the hard wood.

"Enough!"

He looked up at me with empty eyes. They were killing me. I wanted to see the familiar chocolate brown eyes, not these muddy ones. After realising that he wasn't going to speak, I dived into the mini speech that I had prepared in my mind.

"Stop pulling away from us! You don't have to be sad. Nothing is your fault. It wasn't you, it was the Nogitsune. It affected all of us. The only thing we can do right now is stick together. But we can't stick without you, Stiles. You were the glue holding us together. There is enough tension between Allison, Kira, Isaac and Scott as it is. They try to act like it's all okay but it's not. We need you in our lives." I stopped to take in a shaky breath. "I need you"

For the first time in my life, I actually needed someone. I had never told anyone that I did. Not my family, not Jackson, not even Allison. I was fine on my own. Except I wasn't. There was one person that was always there, whether I wanted him to be or not. He watched me from the side-lines, not once demanding my attention. His eyes were filled with care and love, no matter what I did. I saw it while I was crying. I saw it while I was kissing another boy. Stiles Stilinski was a constant in my life. And Lydia Martin, hated change.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Stiles' POV

Two weeks and three days. That was the last day I spoke to someone. The last day I ate. The last day I laughed. The last day I felt something close to happiness.

That day with Lydia at the hospital almost made me change my mind. There she was, spending a Saturday with me at the hospital instead of shopping or with another guy. She insisted on coming with me and actually stayed the whole day. We talked and laughed and it was like heaven.

Except the nagging feeling in my heart. The feeling that reminded me of what I had done. Every time she laughed, I was reminded that I almost killed her. I was going to hurt her.

That's how I ended up spending my time alone in the library. I honestly didn't expect anyone to care. Scott, maybe. So it wouldn't even begin to cover it when I say that I was shocked when Lydia came to find me. I didn't expect her to miss me. She had many more important people in her life. Yes, we had gotten pretty close. But I didn't think that she would actually care.

But there she was, in all her glory, talking about how much they wanted me to come back. It didn't affect me much, actually. Until she said that she needed me.

Lydia Martin said that she needed me. She actually said it. And she meant it. She wasn't joking. It wasn't a dream. My eyes grew slightly wider as she shut her mouth quickly, an adorable blush settling on her cheeks.

I knew that this meant a lot for her. She wasn't the one to tell someone that she needed them. She didn't need anyone. She was the epitome of an independent woman.

The though of Lydia Martin filled my heart with happiness, joy and everything nice. I realised that as much as I could try to stay away, my heart would always belong to the pack. To a certain banshee. I could never stay away from her. I needed her, probably more than she needed me.

After hearing those words, all I could do was mutter a single word and hope that she heard me.

"Okay"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lydia's POV

I can't remember the last time a single word made me this happy. I knew that it would take a while for things to go back to the way they used to be. I wasn't even sure that they would. But this was a start. Now that we had Stiles back, everything would be fine. I would be fine.

I let out a shaky breath and let my lips curl into a bright smile. I didn't know what it was about this boy that kept drawing me to him. Maybe it was the chocolate brown eyes or the mole stained skin or the way he walks. I didn't know. But I did know that he was a constant in my life. Just like Allison was. I had already lost someone close to me. I couldn't handle loosing anyone else, let alone Stiles.

He returned my smile tentatively. His lips were chapped like he hadn't moved them in weeks. He probably hadn't. Nonetheless, he was coming back now.

I extended my hand down to him. I couldn't wait to take him to our friends. Everyone would be thrilled. - "Come on, Stiles. Everyone missed you."

"No" I paused, my smile freezing in place. No? What did that mean? He said okay, didn't he? Did I hear him wrong?

"I mean I-I just want to stay her for a little while"

His voice was shaky and quiet. He looked weak and vulnerable. His eyes wouldn't connect with mine and chose to stare at his shoes. He expected me to leave, I realised. I probably would, a year ago. But now, I couldn't imagine leaving him alone.

I slowly sat down on the chair next to his and place my hand on his, squeezing it gently. I didn't know what else to do. Emotional speeches weren't my thing. A soft smile settled my lips and he slowly raised his head, looking at me directly.

I couldn't stand seeing him like this. It was so unlike the Stiles I knew. I wanted to bring back the cheerful, sarcastic Stiles. Slowly, I laced my fingers through his, watching his reaction. His eyes darted between my eyes and out fingers. His cold fingers slowly tightened around mine, holding them tightly as if I was going to just disappear.

"I'm here for you" I muttered, knowing that he would hear me. He always did. Even when I didn't say my thoughts out loud. He always knew what I was thinking, what I needed. He always supported me. He was my rock.

Now it was my turn to return the favor. I had to be his anchor. To really act like his anchor. If he was going to come back, I will be the one to help him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Stiles' POV

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, holding hands with the girl I loved. She was here because she wanted to. She actually cared about me. I wouldn't have believed it last year. I would call you crazy and ignore the pang of sadness in my heart.

I knew that things weren't the same between us. It was clear to everyone. But I never thought that she would stay with me after I had practically acted like she didn't exist for more than a week.

I squeezed her fingers gently, reassuring myself that she really was there. That this wasn't another dream that would turn into a nightmare.

It took five minutes for me to calm down and another three to gather the courage to speak. I managed to say a quiet "Thank you", not sure if she heard it or not. She nodded slowly and smiled, the smile that held hope, promises of a better future and dare I say… affection? I shut my eyes tightly and opened them. I couldn't let myself have false hopes. I was a friend to her. Just a friend.

I slowly raised my head and looked at her, flashing a weak attempt of a smile. She understood, though. She knew how hard it was. I pushed my chair back and got up, waiting for her to follow my lead.

I was ready to face the others. I was ready to anything as long as her warm hand was in mine. I made no move to let go of her and she didn't pull away either, causing my stomach to perform a strange gymnastics routine.

Blowing out a huff of breath, I took a step forward. Then another, then another. Soon enough I was walking towards the door. Lydia was walking with me, matching my pace. She didn't push me, giving me enough time to change my mind. I gave her a slightly bigger smile and pushed the door open, holding it for her. A bubble of laughter escaped her lips as she docked under my arm to exit the library. I followed her quickly, holding onto her small hand.

We might be just friends, but we weren't. Nothing in our lives was "just" something anymore. Everything was complicated. We had to double check our every action, make sure we have weapons to protect ourselves, stay away from the wrong people and protect the ones closest to us. If it were a simple world, Lydia would still be ignoring me. She'd still be with Jackson. Scott would be listening to me moan about Lydia. But no, the world we live in is much more complex. In this world, Lydia comforts me. Jackson turned to a lizard. Scott is moaning about his complicated love life.

In this world, he isn't the weak, sarcastic Stiles. He's a protector. He's the one who figures it all out. And he will keep figuring things out until the world is simple again.


	7. Chapter 7

Lydia's POV

I squeezed his hand gently, showing him my support. I couldn't possibly understand what he

had been through but I could definitely be here for him while he recovered. I knew that he

didn't expect me to act so nice to him. But he also didn't expect me to go around snogging

random guys anymore. He saw the real me.

I still remember the prom. In less than five seconds, he had created a huge dent in my walls.

The walls that I had worked so hard to build. The love in his eyes, the passion in his voice, his

words… They were so unlike the Stiles Stilinski I knew but so like the Prince Charming I had

always imagined. He knew about my math skills, he knew about my dreams, he knew how to

deal with me. No boy had ever acted like that towards me. I was the queen of the school.

Boys were all over me, obeying my every word, doing whatever I say, treating me like I was

actually royalty. I didn't expect Stiles of all people to be the one to break that routine.

After that night, everything had changed. I became closer with everyone. I because closer

with him. I got to know the real him. I started liking the real him. So she pulled away. She got

scared like she always did. She tried to stay away but it only made her want to go to him

more. He was pulling her towards himself like a magnet and he didn't even know it.

Everyone except him had realised it. Allison knew even before she did. Scott knew when he

heard my heart start to beat like crazy whenever Stiles was around. Derek knew when he

found me playing with a red string while trying not to cry while Stiles was lost. Isaac knew

when he caught me staring at Stiles five times during a pack meeting. Everyone knew. No

one said anything. He had no idea.

I didn't know if I would ever tell him but right now, walking along the halls holding his hand,

almost made me blurt out my feelings. He wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Neither was I,

honestly. My last relationship wasn't very healthy and had ended horribly. I already had

some trust issues but after that, my walls got even stronger. Now they had a Stiles Stilinski

shaped hole in them and it didn't hurt at all. It felt good.

I could see his shy smile as he looked down at our hands and then at my face, probably

wondering if I was aware of out interlocked hands. I turned my face towards his and smiled

brightly, causing him to blink once. Almost magically, his smile got bigger and his eyes got

some more of their sparkle back.

We got to the cafeteria and I paused.

"Are you ready?"

I also stopped, looked at our hands and nodded.

"As ready as I'll ever be"

Feeling oddly proud with myself, I couldn't help it. I leaned forward and planted a small kiss

on his cheek. I pulled away and felt my cheeks heat up, to embarrassed to check his

expression. I pushed open the doors and started dragging him inside. Suddenly I realised

that he wasn't walking and turned around.

There he was, standing there with a stupid smile holding his cheek. It looked like his face

was going to be split into two. I let a small giggle escape my lips at the sight, loving the effect

I had on it.

"Come on Stiles, everyone is waiting for you"

He shook his head and started walking again. I couldn't help but notice the new swing in his

steps. It was almost like the old Stiles.

We reached the table and I let go of his hand grudgingly. Everyone got up to hug him but his

eyes were on me as he hugged them back. I kept smiling as I looked back at him, knowing

that our little bond wasn't going to be unspoken for much longer.


	8. Chapter 8

Stiles' POV

I couldn't believe what just happened. It felt like a dream. It was even better than a dream.

It was something I couldn't dare to dream about.

I hugged back Scott and the others, not even hearing their words. I could faintly hear them

mention how thin I looked or how much they missed me. Their faces were blurred, so was

the world around me. Everything was unclear except from a certain strawberry blonde. She

was standing a couple steps away from us, watching me with a smile. Her eyes stayed on me

throughout the whole greeting process.

I finally managed to catch her eyes, which then widened and quickly broke the connection.

For once I didn't feel sad about it. The blush on her cheeks said more than her lips ever

could.

I let the pack pull me down on a chair and tried to focus on the conversation. However my

attempts were in vain, my brain was once again invaded by the girl who captured my heart.

Just as I was about to give up, she had opened up to me. It was so different than her usual

attitude, yet so familiar. I had seen, or watched, her interact with others like this many

times. It felt like I would never be at the receiving end of her smiles but I was wrong. I

managed to earn one of her smiles, but a special one. This smile was different than the

others. It wasn't to impress or seduce me. She wasn't trying to make me fall for her. This

smile was more innocent. It showed vulnerability.

This was a side of Lydia Martin that no one had ever seen before and I was granted access to

it.

"Stiles?" A hand in front of my eyes, causing me to blink, interrupted my thoughts. The

world came into focus again and I placed a smile on my lips.

"Sorry, blanked out. So, what's up?"

I tried to speak like my old self. Like the Stiles they wanted me to be. Like the Stiles who

didn't care about anything and used sarcasm to answer every question. By their expressions

I could understand that none of them bought it but thankfully no one mentioned my act.

"What's up? We should be asking that to you. Are you okay? What happened to you? You

had us worried sick. Some more than others"

Scott then looked at Lydia with a meaningful grin, getting a threatening glare in return. My

smile turned into a real one and I raised my eyebrows at Lydia.

"I need someone to keep me company while I research!"

Her voice was defensive but I knew better than to believe her. I decided to let go and have

this conversation later in process. I wasn't planning on missing this opportunity. She had

given me an opening and I would slide into her heart.


	9. Chapter 9

Lydia's POV

TIME SKIP - 2 WEEKS

I had to stop this. The feelings were too much. They keep growing and growing each day and

I can't hide them anymore. Stiles still hasn't realised but I know that he will soon.

He will notice my lingering glances or the way my cheeks flood with color every time we

touch. He will notice that I haven't looked at a boy like I used to since he came back. He will

notice that I'm looking at him that way now.

But I don't want him to notice. I don't want him to know. I don't want to face my feelings. I

don't want to give in.

I sigh and enter the school, my feet taking me to his locker. I didn't even think about it

anymore. It just happened. Every morning I would walk to his locker, say "good morning",

collect my daily coffee from him and we would walk to my locker.

I never questioned how he knew my starbucks order but he didn't seem to mind that I'd

memorised his taco bell order. Somehow in the part 2 weeks we had fallen into a routine.

It just sort of clicked and it scared me. /He/ scared me. With his cute moles and charming

smile and plaid shirts and nerdy jokes and sparkling eyes that were always kind and loving.

He was the only one who could keep up with my thought, let alone help me develop my

ideas. I didn't even have to ask him anymore. He just started pointing out missing parts and

adding information.

"Wow, someone looks happy"

It was Scott. I hadn't noticed that I was smiling but I couldn't stop. Whenever I thought

about him I would just lose control of my actions.

I rolled my eyes at Scott and ignored his smirk as I walked closer to Stiles' locker.

I was still scared. Of him, of my feelings. But at that moment, seeing his eyes light up at the

sight of me, I couldn't care less.

"Hey, Stiles"

I managed to say when I approached him and he responded by handing me my cup.

"Here you go, Lyds. I will just be a moment"

He turned to his locker and placed some books in his bag. I waited, sipping my coffee

happily. He turned to me once he was done and my eyes automatically connected to his,

neither of us breaking the intense gaze.

After God knows how long, he cleared his throat and I looked away with a blush.

"We should get going, we don't want to be late."

"Yeah, yeah of course."

He smiled, although I could see that there was something bothering him. Before I got a

chance to say anything about it, he started walking. I sped up and walked next to him, our

hands brushing as we walked. Neither of us said anything but we didn't move away either.

I didn't care at all.


End file.
